brighter thoughts...

i've been racking my brain to think of what it is,
that i could say today that could be the one thing,
that some one needs to hear to launch them into a good feeling,
or a better mind set,
or just a greater day, in general.
whew!
that is definitely a big thought, isn't it?
today, in yoga...
the instructors were talking about brighter thoughts and feelings...
how many of us have them, or know some one who is that brighter thought,
who brings that lightened feeling into the room,
or into your life, for that matter.
and sometimes,
to be honest...
all it really takes for me...
is a look,
or a smile,
a pat on the back...
of course, i really love hugs...
really good, wrap around kinda hugs...
where you can rest your head on some one's shoulder,
and just sorta lay in there...and let go...let your breath out...
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...now that's nice.
but there are days too, that there's no one around to give you all that...
and you're surrounded by strangers, who don't know you, or reach out to you,
or even care what kind of day you're having.
that is definitely the time, we have to dig within ourselves,
and think those bright thoughts...
or remember those good feelings that we've had with certain people,
or even a day that was just light and easy, and every corner you turned into,
was a good one.
life is never gonna be only full of good things...
sometimes the bad parts are there just to remind us,
how lucky we are to have so much good...
or just to teach us about the good that we seem to be unaware of.
some days i'm caught between this place of being surrounded by people,
and this place of being completely alone.
to find the happy medium is a struggle.
but i manage to find it most of the time.
sometimes, when i get home from work or yoga or spin or just a place that i've been in the midst of a lot of people...
i just sit...
in the silence of my apartment...
and breath in the sounds of the room.
somedays it's a nice feeling,
and somedays, not so nice.
it always seems to depend on what's ahead of me,
or what i've just left behind...
what i'm scared of doing...
my fear of wandering through life, without purpose or direction,
my fear of failure,
my fear of not thinking i'm as good as the person next to me,
the fear that when i pray, wondering if anyone hears me.
yes, it seems i have a lot of fears...and i do.
but i also have many reasons not to fear.
i'm surrounded by these reasons, day in and day out.
by the sun coming up everyday,
by being able to get out of bed and walk on my own two feet,
by having a healthy heart, mind, and spirit,
by having a job,
by paying my bills,
by having my crazy ass family, just down the street from me,
by being lucky enough to have friends in my life, that i've met along the way,
that know who i am...and still care for me, and love me, even when i'm wrong and i make mistakes and look ridiculous, they are there...
so, you see...
that light comes from the craziest places.
the most simple and easy places sometimes.
and maybe on even the darkest of days,
we can just look to that one thing,
that can bring us back into the light of being,
and therefore,
shed some light to the person next to us,
that is having just as hard of a time to survive as we are.
because, in truth, we are all here together...
as many times as you hear it or say it...
and as obvious as it sounds...
that light that is inside of you,
is bright enough to get you through your day...
and possibley,
have an amazing effect on some one else's too.
so, somehow, even with the fear that invades your head,
we just have to keep reminding ourselves to be brighter...
that that brightness, on it's own,
is our saving grace.