what else is there?

i've just walked off the beach...and walked into my quiet little apartment,
and here i am...once again...writing some things down.
i've been trying to get out to the beach more often lately,
because soon enough, it will be a bit too chilly to just be in shorts and a tee shirt, comfortabley...then the hoodies and fleeces will have to come out.
honestly though...kinda like that time of year too.
less people and more time to just be out there, without a soul in sight.
it's an awesome experience to be sitting in the sand and listening to the sounds crash all around you...
and feeling like, you may be the only person hearing them at that moment.
i looked left and right today...and saw no one.
nice.
funny thing is...this time of year...is so perfect out...
doesn't make any sense that no one is there...taking it in.
like a wasted present or something.
anyways, as i said before, i've been reading a book by this krishnamurti guy...
i've decided that in order to find some understanding of it...
i can only read a chapter at a time...then somehow...
try and process it.
and maybe share what i've found with you.
i sat on the beach today, and laughed at myself,
because his words are so simple, but so profound...
that i'm struggling through each chapter...wondering if what he says is possible.
you know how when you're reading things and the words are making sense, but at the same time, you're almost fighting against understanding them,
because if you do...
that means...
everything changes.
the way you look at things,
at life...
at your life.
the fact that this guy believed so strongly in letting all judgement go...
all the things that we think make us who we are...
all of our beliefs and opinions,
he believed got in the way of seeing ourselves in truth.
geez!
living each moment without agreeing or disagreeing,
but just by being aware...and actually seeing things for what they are...
and looking at each thing...the things that we so often don't pay attention to.
i have to admit...it's a lot to take in.
but it seems so right on though too.
hmmmmmmmmm...
like basically, we get in our own way, by living on our past experiences, and not letting ourselves experience things while they're happening.
holding onto all of these ideals...may hold us back from seeing anything clearly.
yes...i'm totally jumping in here...but what if that is true?
how many of us are constantly finding this and that book to read, that helps us through struggles or issues?
i can say for a definite fact...that i do.
and believe me...i love reading and learning about different ways of life, and different thoughts on how to live...and how to be.
what's the best thing?
god, who knows!
we all have to decide that for ourselves, don't we?
and the other thing i find interesting about reading this guys works...
is that through his writing...he says every now and then...that he's not giving a lesson here on how to live or the right way for anything to be done...
he doesn't talk about right and wrong.
it's like being invited on a journey,
to scope things out, and let yourself go...
and calling out to yourself...on the things that you do out of fear.
fear of knowing or of seeing the truth behind all the things we hide from.
that's a pretty intense journey, eh?
i find it a bit overwhelming to think of, really.
but it's interesting as well.
while i was out on the beach this morning...
i layed on my towel...and read out loud, as i like to do...
when i put my book down, i watched the waves, and looked directly in front of me,
in the sand, picked through little shells, and began putting them in a little line on the end of my towel.
i eventually found three of the most tiny shells, of my favorite kind that are usually much much bigger...i was really surprised at how small they were!
so small that i had to squint to see the beautiful markings on them.
the swirls, the lines, the colors...amazing!
i sat there and was thinking...if i was standing and walking along...there is no way i would have even seen these teeny versions of my faves.
i would have passed them by, without a thought.
as it happened...in my stillness...i saw them.
and in that...i understood a little more of what i had just read.
i layed down, and just payed attention to what was around me.
i took it in, and enjoyed it, in that moment.
make no mistake about it...
as i left the beach...i picked up each one of those shells and carefully put them in my pocket...and now they're resting on one of my window sills...
maybe just to remind me to look around, and pay attention...
to each moment.
the people, the places, the things.
maybe it's possible to try and be content in each moment,
if we're more aware of life as a whole.
as for me...it's definitely a work in progress :)
but i'd like to think that each second, each minute, and each hour that goes by...
is a chance to breath it all in, and be in it.
oh, wow!
the possibilities in this life are endless!
and yes, so are the challenges...but man, oh man, we are so surrounded by living movement...by change...by life...by love...
by beauty...and by greatness.
what else is there, but to walk forward, eyes up, and see what happens?