forward...

so, here's the thing...
three guys walk into a coffee shop...(that's for you, longo)
but seriously, folks, this is what i got for the day...
happened to hang out with a friend a few weeks ago,
and we were discussing dreams of life and things...
and my blog...which has been my dream for quite some time.
so, here i am, doing it...
but now, i have to take it a little further,
and i'm unsure of the next step.
one of the things she told me is that maybe i should be more blunt,
and let loose on some things...
maybe not always be so nice.
well, i have been giving that some thought,
and it came to me yesterday,
that although i do have many thoughts that i could spout off,
and most likely vent about,
scream about even,
i'm thinking...
well...
don't we have enough of that in this world?
i mean, seriously...
yes, there is a bit of community in the fact that one could say...
'hey, it's nice to hear that some one else is pissed off about that'...
but then again...
i'm hoping against hope that i can make the day better for whoever decides to visit me,
and read me, if i'm lucky.
i read recently that if you have things to complain about that you should perhaps keep them to yourself.
that mostly, people don't really want to hear those things...
and all it really does, is create more negativity...
it may make you feel better, but it also may ruin the person's day that you are venting to.
hmmmmm...
then again...it is always nice to be able to confer your feelings to a person that is close to you.
i guess maybe once you get it out...just leave it there.
i've found that when i begin to share something like that...i feel the great need to tell the next person, and the next, and the next...
thus, spreading the seed of complainersville just a little further.
yuck!
i've been telling myself lately, as a sort of new years resolution,
to kind of keep that stuff to a low roar, a bare minimum...
i can't say that it's been easy, i have to admit.
the importance of accepting certain things in life for what they are is key,
because, as i've been learning, one can learn from just about everything that comes along...
even the suckiest things that happen...the people that drive you completely insane...
from our extreme failures...especially our extreme failures.
i realize that i'm always referring to yoga class, but hey, it's how i roll...but in yoga,
the poses that are the most difficult for us...they say that we shouldn't run away from that pose...
that it's the pose that we should most likely concentrate on a bit more...because maybe it's something that we truly need.
that if we really dig in a do it up, we grow from there...and we find out more about ourselves.
about what we want from life...about who we are...about what we have inside!
it's a constant reminder of how much work i have left to do...
but it's also really exciting to know that there's just that much more to look forward to!
that life is still unfolding...
i mean, holy shit, right?!
we're all just works in progress...
the point is...or the important thing is to keep progressing...
FORWARD

stay excellent

well...as i sit here today...it's been quite awhile since i've written anything...
a lot has happened since my last posting...
and i truly must apologize for being so invisible for the past month...
i've had so many thoughts of what to write at different points of the month...
but for some unknown reason, could not sit myself down to write any of my thoughts down.
it's just one of those things that happens to me...
lose focus...
get focus...
try to focus...
stay focused.
the latter being the impossible one for me. haha!
anyways, the thing that is in the forefront of my mind happens to be...life.
hmmmmmmmm...
surprising, eh?
i'm perched in a chair at my local buck, caramel machiatto at my side,
and watching people flow in and out of the front door.
yes, it is quite distracting, but, at the same time,
a great way to remind myself that life is constantly changing and moving.
a couple of weeks ago, i came home from work to find my front window open to my apartment...
at first, i thought...'oh, cool, maybe there's a handyman here, fixing my locks on my window'...
but at second glance, i realized there was no handyman, but there had been a person that was quite attracted to my laptop, that sat quite nicely, on the palace saloon table, next to my front window.
soooooooo, laptop stolen...i had to face the fact that there are somedays that people just want what you have...
and there are days...that there's absolutely nothing you can do about it...completely out of our control, what others do.
always a reminder that life is just that sometimes...
wild and wacky and all over the place...
some days people take things and sometimes they give things.
one of my thoughts was that whoever stole the laptop...well, i hope they really needed it.
i was completely astounded as well, by the feeling that someone had punched me in the face.
it just seems as if it's such a personal thing to have people take things from you.
i actually slept the first couple of nights afterwards with a golf club, literally in my hand.
FORE! haha!
the point to all this, if there is one, is the shear fact that life is sort of full of surprises.
that we have no idea what is around the corner...good and bad.
and yes, we have to take the good with the bad...
what truly shows who we are is how we act and react...to all people, places, and things...
verbs, nouns, and adjectives.
things that happen to us...things that we do...how we treat others...family, friends, and strangers.
several years ago i read a book called 'the four agreements'...
it pretty much explained how to live life more soundly...with integrity through our speech and through our actions.
it was an absolutely beautiful book, and a wonderful thought on how to live life.
the problem arises when we are living life, and we forget that what we do and say, affects all people...somehow.
easy to read these things,
but as my yoga dude says, 'when we roll up our mat, and go out into the world, that is the true test of who we are'.
and a test, it truly is!
each day i'm taken aback by the failures i have accomplished in speech and in action...
but each day, when the sun comes up...
i get another chance.
and hey, i'm a firm believer in second chances...and third...and fourth...and so on, and so on.
i was watching a movie the other night, and in it, one of the characters, instead of saying goodbye to his friend,
just walks away and pumps his fist in the air and says, 'stay excellent'...
i kinda like that, and i think i'll keep it.
well, my friends,
stay excellent...
or at least strive to be so.
because if you think about it...
excellent to each of us is different, isn't it?
sort of like people say...it's all relative.
yeah...if each of us sat down, and wrote down what makes us happy or what we would describe as excellent...
most likely there would be thousands upon thousands of different ideas of excellent.
that's the greatest and coolest part of life!
the differences!
maybe we should all sit down by ourselves and write these things down,
and pin it up somewhere in our houses...
to remind us that each day is a day that we can be excellent,
and that even though we may not realize it...along with all the bad things that happen in the world...
good things are happening all around us too...
excellent things even.
don't get me wrong though...
there are definitely those days that, as it happens...seemingly nothing is going our way...
i'm figuring...if we keep moving forward...keeping our eyes, hearts, and minds aware...
anything is possible...and maybe, just maybe, we can find some excellent in each day.
and if you don't...
keep looking.
(fist pumping in the air)...stay excellent

on paper...

i'm gonna jump right in today and tell you a story...
basically, a couple of days ago, i turned 43...
yeah, i know...old! haha!
it was a pretty great day, i have to say.
and honestly, i can say that my birthdays, in the past, have been quite awesome as well.
i've told you before, that i consider myself to be a lucky person.
well...i'm not just making that up...i really am.
anyways, during that day, and maybe starting the day previous, i was having discussions here and there with different friends about turning 43, and how i felt about it.
and no, i wasn't just walking around spouting off my thoughts of 43...it just happened to come up in conversation.
with one friend, i had told her, basically, that it still surprises me when i say my age out loud,
that i feel nowhere near how old i am supposed to be.
that comparatively speaking...if i look at other 43 year olds,
i'm more like maybe, 26.
and what i mean by that and what i explained to my friend is this...
most people my age are in the midst of raising families, owning homes, keeping up with their stock portfolios, and planning their retirements...
and here i am with ownership of almost nothing...
what i do have, some plates and dishes and furniture that has been handed down to me, oh, so luckily by my sweet mother...
i rent.
i have no savings.
barely a checking account.
i wonder each month whether or not i am going to make it.
i'm not saying any of this for pity's sake...
i'm explaining this to add on to part of my story.
be patient :)
so, although, i really don't have anything really to speak of...
i never feel like i'm going without.
like i have less...
until i get that stupid urge to look around, and compare myself.
one of those things that you learn in yoga...
is to not look around to see what the person next to you is doing.
if only to figure out what position is being called out...
but to compare is always a bad idea...
it will either make you feel worse about yourself or too good about yourself...
instead of just being who you are...
and them being who they are.
learning to work with what you have within yourself...
instead all of that additional stuff that we keep buying, thinking it's going to make this huge difference...
because in the end...as my friend and i were talking about...
it's just stuff.
okay, so, now to roll on to the 'on paper' aspect of the story.
after dinner the other night,
my brother, a friend of mine, and myself,
went down the street to a restaurant to have a little dessert,
after having way too much sushi...
but hey, it was my birthday...why not get completely obliterated by sweet treats?
seriously!
on our walk to the restaurant, my friend was talking about this boy she was meeting up with that night.
so, my brother and i were asking questions about who this guy was, and maybe if he was a prospect of some kind...
she proceeds to describe him and at a certain point, mentions the fact that he looks good on paper.
my brother and i, being the smart asses that we are, just looked at each other and began making wise cracks about this 'on paper' comment. haha!
and to add to that she described another fellow as looking really good physically, but on paper, failed miserabley.
it's funny to me how we make those decisions about people.
grading them according to the things they have, what they look like, and where they've gone to school, etc.
i guess it is the process that we decide whether or not that person is what we want.
not long ago, i was sitting and having coffee with a friend,
and she was describing her ex in the same way,
as she described him, and his 'on paper' downfalls...
i realized that she could have been describing me!
haha!
i walked out that day, thinking...'wow, if everyone goes through that list, i may be single forever!'
haha!
but seriously...
the truth is...to each one of us...the 'on paper' thing is part of life.
but there are things that aren't 'on paper' that can make a big difference.
for me,
i guess i'm gonna have to go with believing that my 'off paper' attributes are what's gonna bring me home.
because really, in the end...it's all i have.
just me.
and what i've learned and am learning in these 43 years of life...
is that,
i am enough.

resting on the mouse...

it's funny, as i was sitting here, in my window spot...
trying to decide whether or not i had anything to write today,
my hand was resting on the mouse,
but i was afraid to click, just in case i began to type,
and had nothing of consequence to say. haha!
i literally sat here for several minutes,
unsure of the click. haha!
completely funny, right?
i'm seriously laughing at myself at the moment,
because then i realized as well...that if i didn't have anything to say,
i could just hit cancel...no big thing.
amazing the amount of stress we put on ourselves to perform...
and here i am...performing.
anyways, that being said and done...
maybe i should just tell you what i usually do...
stories.
as most of you are recovering from thanksgiving feasts and families...
i am too.
it was actually quite an amazing and lovely week, truth be told.
my three brothers were here, and it may have been the first time in 10 years or more that we've all been together for a holiday.
so, yeah...it was pretty fabulous, to say the least.
loads of food, drink, stories, laughter, jokes, pictures, kids running around, hugging and kissing (well, because in my family, we're an affectionate crew of people, mostly you can't be in the room with someone, and not touch them, in some way, that's how we roll. if you've been around us, you pretty much know this)
anyways, thanksgiving always seems to be a build up for the days to come.
reuniting with family and friends...
it's definitely a time that you can look on and know that you are surrounded...
by love.
now...don't get me wrong...
family doesn't always mean love...
but in the end...
through the arguments...
the breaking of plates and martini glasses...
knife fights (that's for you stevo)...
complete disagreements about politics and the world...
about how we should or shouldn't be raising our kids...
to drink or not to drink...
all these things that can make you walk away from the table...
what brings us back?
that makes you look across the table,
and still be thankful that they are there...
that makes you say...'hey, i don't agree with you...but i love you, just the same'.
whether it be family or friends...
it's a beautiful thing to be able to fight through...
and love...
and end up laughing at each other,
because of the way we look, while we're fighting.
yes, there are a lot of serious things that go on in this world,
most definitely,
but i think the thing that makes all of that bearable...
is who we surround ourselves with.
it's an interesting thing in life, as we grow older, to figure out what people we'd rather be around...the people that we choose to call friends are many times different from who we would have chosen as children...
the things that matter the most are usually 180 degrees different from what we thought when we were 12 years old. (thank god, eh? haha!)
although life was more simple then...
there were times, i'm sure, that we worried about what others thought...
more than we needed to.
there are times that i feel that sense of worry now,
and i have to remind myself of who i am...
who i've been becoming for these 42 years...almost 43 now.
and who i will continue to become...
by constant study, reading, and learning...hopefully growing through all this.
our parents, when we were small, would tell us...
'pick your friends, don't let them pick you'
it's funny to think of that...
but oh, so true.
i don't know about you, but it's a good day to me, when i can sit with my friends, and share food or a glass of wine, a cup of coffee...whatever really...and just sit...and soak in the goodness of community...
the feeling that these people that i've chosen to share myself with...
are people that care deeply for me, for what happens to me...
and i, for them.
it's amazing, in the grand scheme of things...
of all that goes on in this crazy ass world...
how good it can make you feel...
to just know that they are there.
it makes all the difference to me, of that i am sure.
as i've told you before, i've been reading this book, 'freedom from the known'...
by krishnamurti...
it's been a struggle, to say the least,
because many things he says...make sense...but also are so out there...
i have to admit, it kinda scares me to think that there was this man that was so unbelievabley open minded about life...about everything.
wow!
i'd love to strive to be this way, but as i read this last chapter,
that i was making my way through...it did make me wonder if it was possible...
but he said something pretty interesting and funny, at the end of it...
about we, as people, in general, looking at things, and wanting to take time to think them over and decide how we should or shouldn't feel about it...
and what he says is this (bear in mind, this chapter was about the violence in the world, and in ourselves, in the nature of man, basically, and how to change the view of it, saying that we must begin within ourselves...because violence is not only physical, it is mental as well)...
"...the most dreadful statements one can make, 'i will try'. there is no trying, no doing your best. either you do it or you don't do it. you are admitting time while the house is burning. the house is burning as a result of the violence throughout the world and in yourself and you say, 'let me think about it. which ideology is best to put out the fire?' when the house is on fire, do you argue about the colour of the hair of the man who brings the water?"

okay, i will admit...that out of context, this may be a little strange to read...
especially after i was just talking about thanksgiving, love, and friendship.
yep...maybe a little less coffee this morning would help. haha!
i just like to share the things i'm reading...or i should say struggling through, as a form of educating myself to the world...but if you think about it...
it all comes down to letting go...
and living with our eyes and hearts wide open...
doesn't it?
not the easiest thing to do...
because the first thing we want to do is decide and judge and contemplate.
hmmmmmmmmmmmm...
having faith in something is a really great thing...
but what if it gets in the way of seeing what is?
that's a hard one to take in, you know?
i guess though, that's all part of the learning process, isn't it?
and coming full circle through all of these problems and questions...
of life...
i'm thankful to have good people to be surrounded by...
to listen to, to talk to, and to learn from as well.
because around every corner of our lives...
there is learning to be done.
thanks to my family and friends for teaching me,
and being with me while i learn.
my cup runneth over...most assuredly so.

from the strangest places...

i sit here today, and i have to tell you...
each and every day, i've been thinkin...
'okay now, sit down, write'...
and each day, all these ideas pop in and out of my head...
but then each day...i let them flutter away...
like little butterflies of thought.
funny how that happens sometimes.
we find reasons to not do.
grocery lists
plumbers
errands
workouts
colds
hmmmmmmmm...
so, this is what's been going on,
and i thought i'd share during this week of the beginning of it all...
the holiday season.
thanksgiving, right?
families coming together from distances far and near.
it's pretty cool.
the thought that there are these people in our lives,
that have known us since the time that we didn't even know ourselves.
since we were wearing onezies. haha!
i've been thinking lately that i have no idea what i'm doing.
but even during that, there are always things that i know for certain.
facts in my soul that are tried and true.
thank god for that,
because otherwise...i'm not sure how we would survive this life...
if not for the things that we can count on, or have faith in...
things that we know, for sure.
are true.
funny thing is...the other day at work,
it was early, 6 in the morning...still dark out...
and we were pullling carts and parking them,
and there's this corner you have to turn through,
that's pretty dark, and with the gps, shining in your eyes,
you can't see anything for several seconds...
but being that i've done the same action over and over again,
i know the path, so, i drive forward and i don't crash into anything.
for some reason, it came to me the other day, while doing this usual chore,
of how much like life it really is...
how sometimes we walk around in the dark, not knowing exactly where we are going or what we are doing, for that matter,
but somehow we keep going and have faith that we're not gonna crash into anything.
i find sometimes that, whilst i live alone,
i don't turn on the lights at night because i know the path to where i go...
i don't need the light...and i have full confidence in where i'm going.
i have to admit though, that in my life,
i haven't walked that way...with full faith that i won't fall...
or that if i do...i can get up and walk away...smarter...
wiser...stronger.
i fear many things.
but it's during that fear that i try really hard to remind myself...
of what i know to be true...to me...to my heart...to my soul.
we're all different...
so, those things will be different from what the person next to me counts on.
but the importance of having something or someone to believe in...
god, wow, is soooooooooo truly important...
to just make it.
to get up everyday, and walk into it with open eyes and open arms,
welcoming whatever comes our way.
the good and the bad.
honestly, i can't say that i've had a whole lot of bad to contend with...
i am so amazingly lucky, i can't even begin to explain it.
the reasons why,
i have no idea.
i just know it is.
most people think that it's when the bad things that happen to you,
that we are tested,
to see what kind of person we are, deep down.
while i argree with that, whole-heartedly...
i also think that being fully aware while the good is going on,
is truly important as well.
the smelling of the flowers
noticing the colors in the day
the sounds of the ocean
the uncontrollable laughter with a friend
that smile that comes to your face when you hear that perfect song
when someone is kind to you, for no reason.
i mention these things...and you may think,
these are pretty small in the grand scheme of life.
and hey, they are.
but some days,
they can be so huge.
we get so swept away by the vastness of our problems...
that it's these little things that can help us to rise.
to move forward.
to take that first step to the good stuff.
because while there always is bad, there always is good.
what is it they say...you can't have one without the other.
i realize as i write this as well...
that my writing seemingly is always about this...
this faith...this love...this belief...
the little things in life...
choices and people and luck and thankfulness.
yes, it is my general thought process, i can't deny it,
but it is who i am.
and maybe sometimes, i'm here, reminding you...
because i have to remind me.
i don't know about you, but i need constant reminding.
i am lucky.
i know this.
thoreau wrote...'heaven is not only above our heads, but below our feet'
look around you, my friends...
find heaven in every second that you take a breath.
it's all around us.
be thankful...live thankful

home

i'm trying something new today...
getting myself out of my little box of thinking...
i'm gonna write to music...yep...we'll see how it goes!
anyways, i've had a few things on my mind as of late that i'd like to share...
oh, and, by the way, i'm listening to pandora...dialed into ray lamontagne, which is pretty nice and chill.
so, work with me here, because i may just go all over the place...
but here goes...
first of all, i was thinking about the little things in life that happen to you, while you're just living...they seem quite inconsequential or small...but they change your feeling or your attitude, right in that moment that they happen.
i'll give you a few examples of things that have happened recently to me...
that changed my day, and made me feel happy or just put a smile on my face.
which, as you know, somedays, can be the exact thing that you need.
that's part of the reason that it's hard not to believe in destiny or kismet.

so, i was at the grocery store the other day, after a really insane day at work...we were running around like crazies the entire time, and it happened to be that day was my 8th day in a row of working...needless to say, my body and my soul were tired...i had taken an exact amount of money into the store, instead of my debit card...forcing myself to hopefully, not spend as much money...i have a strange little system that keeps me in check when i walk in, but i won't go into that, just to make this story shorter...
anyways, i get in line, there are people behind me, and i'm 31 cents short...so, i'm standing there like, 'oh crap', and tell the lady that i have to run out to my car and get the change, which in my mind am thinking, i really don't want to run anymore today...she just looks at me, and says, don't worry about it, i bet i have 31 cents in my change purse...she proceeds to get out her wallet and throw it in the til for me...a person she doesn't know at all...but most likely looks pretty tired. i walked away smiling, feeling lucky.

another day, i'm out with friends, walking through a really busy local bar, and see an old friend, and walk up to say hello to her and give her a hug. we exchange the usual how are you's and what's ups...and as we're talking she mentions the fact that she reads my blog and that on somedays that she's having a bad day, and she reads me...it makes her day better. i walked away with a smile on my face, thinking she had made my night better.

at work recently, i was talking to the young man i was working with, and we were laughing quite a bit that day...it seems when i work with this kid, i turn into a comedienne of sorts, because the whole time, i tell him stories or just talk to him, we laugh, almost non-stop. he tells me the other day, that he really loves working with me because i always make his day better, through laughter. i walked away that day feeling happy knowing that i could have this positive affect on a 19 year old boy...who three months ago, i didn't know at all.

so, you see, these small things can have quite an affect on us.
i feel so lucky that there are so many days that i'm reminded of this.
running into that person, that changes your day with just a few words or a slight action.
words or actions, most likely, that you need to hear or see, just to lift your spirits.
because as much as we want to believe that we are doing all this alone...
we're not.
we're surrounded by people.
by their energy, by their spirit.
that's huge!
we get to choose everyday, who we are.
what we're gonna do.
how we're going to present ourselves,
to the world.
and how we're going to live.
it's easy to walk along this life,
and forget that the things we do, as small as they may be,
can be just the thing that someone else needs.
that as much as other people affect us...
we, in turn, affect them.
and maybe we have to try even harder in this life,
to make sure that the affect is a good one.
a pay it forward of sorts...everyday.
because as much as we need it...someone else does too.
happiness begetting happiness...yeah, so simple.

i leave you with this last little story...
i just recently moved home from oregon,
for many different reasons...
but the longer i'm home,
the more i realize the good decision i made to come home.
many people disagreed with me or thought me to be a fool...
but i guess it comes with age...
at a certain point, you begin to understand that your life is yours,
and you need not explain your decisions to other people,
because they aren't you.
and yes, sometimes, i felt a bit embarassed to have made this huge trek,
across the u.s. and only 7 months later, there i was driving back home.
but the honest truth is...i finally feel at home...
and the reasons i do, are the small things.
like going to my parents house, when my little brother and his wife and child are there...and when i walk in the door, seeing little julius's face light up, and he says 'honey!' really loud, and runs to me...i'm home.
when i wake up in the morning, and hear the ocean and can watch the sun come up...i'm home.
when i go out to lunch, and run into 10 people i know...i'm home.
when i go out for a run, and spend part of the time, waving at my friends, passing by in cars...i'm home.
and even in a town as small as this one, you meet new people, and they can have a way of changing your life, and making it better...
so...
where ever you are...
and whatever you do...
know that you can be the change in someone's day...
you can be the change in the world...
and the change that makes others feel like they've made it home.

what else is there?

i've just walked off the beach...and walked into my quiet little apartment,
and here i am...once again...writing some things down.
i've been trying to get out to the beach more often lately,
because soon enough, it will be a bit too chilly to just be in shorts and a tee shirt, comfortabley...then the hoodies and fleeces will have to come out.
honestly though...kinda like that time of year too.
less people and more time to just be out there, without a soul in sight.
it's an awesome experience to be sitting in the sand and listening to the sounds crash all around you...
and feeling like, you may be the only person hearing them at that moment.
i looked left and right today...and saw no one.
nice.
funny thing is...this time of year...is so perfect out...
doesn't make any sense that no one is there...taking it in.
like a wasted present or something.
anyways, as i said before, i've been reading a book by this krishnamurti guy...
i've decided that in order to find some understanding of it...
i can only read a chapter at a time...then somehow...
try and process it.
and maybe share what i've found with you.
i sat on the beach today, and laughed at myself,
because his words are so simple, but so profound...
that i'm struggling through each chapter...wondering if what he says is possible.
you know how when you're reading things and the words are making sense, but at the same time, you're almost fighting against understanding them,
because if you do...
that means...
everything changes.
the way you look at things,
at life...
at your life.
the fact that this guy believed so strongly in letting all judgement go...
all the things that we think make us who we are...
all of our beliefs and opinions,
he believed got in the way of seeing ourselves in truth.
geez!
living each moment without agreeing or disagreeing,
but just by being aware...and actually seeing things for what they are...
and looking at each thing...the things that we so often don't pay attention to.
i have to admit...it's a lot to take in.
but it seems so right on though too.
hmmmmmmmmm...
like basically, we get in our own way, by living on our past experiences, and not letting ourselves experience things while they're happening.
holding onto all of these ideals...may hold us back from seeing anything clearly.
yes...i'm totally jumping in here...but what if that is true?
how many of us are constantly finding this and that book to read, that helps us through struggles or issues?
i can say for a definite fact...that i do.
and believe me...i love reading and learning about different ways of life, and different thoughts on how to live...and how to be.
what's the best thing?
god, who knows!
we all have to decide that for ourselves, don't we?
and the other thing i find interesting about reading this guys works...
is that through his writing...he says every now and then...that he's not giving a lesson here on how to live or the right way for anything to be done...
he doesn't talk about right and wrong.
it's like being invited on a journey,
to scope things out, and let yourself go...
and calling out to yourself...on the things that you do out of fear.
fear of knowing or of seeing the truth behind all the things we hide from.
that's a pretty intense journey, eh?
i find it a bit overwhelming to think of, really.
but it's interesting as well.
while i was out on the beach this morning...
i layed on my towel...and read out loud, as i like to do...
when i put my book down, i watched the waves, and looked directly in front of me,
in the sand, picked through little shells, and began putting them in a little line on the end of my towel.
i eventually found three of the most tiny shells, of my favorite kind that are usually much much bigger...i was really surprised at how small they were!
so small that i had to squint to see the beautiful markings on them.
the swirls, the lines, the colors...amazing!
i sat there and was thinking...if i was standing and walking along...there is no way i would have even seen these teeny versions of my faves.
i would have passed them by, without a thought.
as it happened...in my stillness...i saw them.
and in that...i understood a little more of what i had just read.
i layed down, and just payed attention to what was around me.
i took it in, and enjoyed it, in that moment.
make no mistake about it...
as i left the beach...i picked up each one of those shells and carefully put them in my pocket...and now they're resting on one of my window sills...
maybe just to remind me to look around, and pay attention...
to each moment.
the people, the places, the things.
maybe it's possible to try and be content in each moment,
if we're more aware of life as a whole.
as for me...it's definitely a work in progress :)
but i'd like to think that each second, each minute, and each hour that goes by...
is a chance to breath it all in, and be in it.
oh, wow!
the possibilities in this life are endless!
and yes, so are the challenges...but man, oh man, we are so surrounded by living movement...by change...by life...by love...
by beauty...and by greatness.
what else is there, but to walk forward, eyes up, and see what happens?